The Goth and the Girlfriend
by MasterMartin
Summary: Fighting Brevon and all the calamity that entailed brought more mental scarring than Lilac could ever have imagined. She tried to write it off as weakness, tried to bury the pain under all sorts of personas and gimmicks. She would rather die than admit to that weakness. It is up to Carol to get through to the Lilac beneath the shell when her darkest persona yet emerges.


'What'm I gonna do?' Carol thought morosely, '...What'm I gonna do with Lilac?"

That was the sort of question that had been running through her head all day. How could she, a wildcat known for napping and fighting evil in vaguely equal measures, catch up with Sash Lilac of heroine fame? Not in terms of fame or capability, no. Even Lilac herself was perfectly willing to see Carol eye-to-eye on something like that. No, it was something else that was worrying Carol. Something bigger, something harder for even her to comprehend, never mind someone like Lilac...or Milla, come to think of it. How long was it since they saved the world, anyway? A few months? A year? Carol couldn't remember, the days had gone by so fast since then, what with all of the awards and the ceremonies. She'd gotten more precious metals through these celebrations than she ever did stealing stuff as a Red Scarf! Which, admittedly, was kind of better for her mental health long-term...but what of Lilac's?

For a good few months, Lilac was...quiet. Jumpy. Not herself. She would stand around, eye-twitching, staring out into space. And then, it'd just happen. It could be out of the blue, it could be triggered with a small carpet shock, but Lilac, she would...just start screaming! She would howl out in fear and drop to the floor sobbing. And yet through it all, with meltdown after meltdown, Lilac would refuse to divulge what the problem was. She was "fine" and "everything was OK", when to even the most ignorant observer it was clear something was amiss. It wasn't until Torque returned to visit the girls that things were finally put into perspective; when Lord Brevon was laying waste to the lands, Lilac had been tortured brutally by him and his cronies. Electrocuted, at that, until her scales burned grey...wait, no, 'til her scales went grey from the burns. Carol always got that mixed up. She never even knew, really. It was one thing to skid to a stop in that infernal base and see her best friend charred to a crisp, it was another to see her a mere hour later none the worse for wear...and then another entirely to see her freak out so hard and so often but a few weeks later. According to Torque, the whole thing left her with PTSD; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You'd be happy and normal until something set off those memories...then you were gone. Lilac tried to deny it, but Torque knew; he was there to see it.

And so, here they were. A dragon heroine getting torn apart from her own memories, a friend too busy in space to help out, the warlord responsible having fled scot-free to the rest of his empire...and two young girls, barely 25 years of age between them, with no idea what to do. Carol sighed, racking her brain with things to do with her and how to help her come to terms with all this. Lilac had taken all sorts of forms over the months; screaming, crying, craving foods and lord knows what else. Carol had decided that it would be best to leave Lilac alone while she and Milla went for a walk into town; give her some breathing room, some time to sit down and think. It was one hell of a risky move, Carol was aware, but she had no other option that would happily come to mind. Not at this point. However, now they were on their way back to the treehouse, stopped just before the massive tree it was a part of. Her surprisingly deep musing was stopped by a small tug on her shirt. She looked down and to her left; it was Milla, obviously, tugging at her shirt to get her attention.

"Carol?" the cream-coloured pup asked, her eyes big and impossibly adorable, "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah!" Carol answered back, jumping out of her slump like it was no big deal, "Just in some REAL deep thought over here!"

Milla giggled, "Well, that's not like you!"

Carol chuckled back, tussling Milla's hair, "Yeah, yeah. Just gotta find something to respond to your banter, huh? Well, where was I? Oh, yeah! As I said, I'm pretty sure Spade has an obsession with those Battletoad things..."

Milla stopped to look at her as we climbed the ladder to the treehouse, her face all aflutter, "But, why?"

Carol shrugged in a playful manner, "I dunno, I always saw him as the kind of guy who would pretend to be a frog, maybe put on this voice and be like..." she stopped to clear her throat and spoke again, sounding something like a surfer dude who had hit his head on his board after a wipeout, "Duuuuuuude, I'm like, TOTALLY gonna crash this party!"

Both Carol and Milla, now on the balcony porch of the treehouse, began laughing; Carol in snickers and Milla in giggles. They quickly hugged each other over the joke, Carol patting Milla's back in glee, before they separated and calmed themselves. Carol wiped the tears from her eyes, "Phew! See? Don't have to be afraid of him. Just imagine him in some goofy getup like, I dunno, retro gymnastics gear!" Carol gave the handle a twist as the door clicked and slowly creaked open, allowing the two entry into the main room of the house, " See how less threatening he looks...th-then..."

Carol stopped. Carol blinked multiple times. Carol's jaw slammed to the floor in shock. Within the main room of the house was...well, it was SOMETHING. It was Lilac, yes, and she was in the middle of the room, yes. But everything else? Where to even begin? The floor around Lilac was littered with fitness mats of all types, all a similar shade of bright neon pink that burned Carol's eyes. A couple of similarly pastel-shaded dumbbells littered the room, some on the floor and some in a holder of some sort. A stepping machine was nearby, as was a music player blaring out some oddly peppy synthetic music. It was an energetic tune, mostly synths with a bit of guitar blaring out here and there. Carol wasn't sure, but it felt like it all came from another timeframe entirely. And then, there was Lilac herself. She was dressed in what could only be described as tight-fitting lycra and limb warmers; a hot-pink bodysuit with cyan and white stripes running diagonally across her torso, neon pink arm warmers, neon cyan tendril warmers, a pink-and-cyan headband and even a pair of cyan sweatpants with white legwarmers ending in socks. Carol almost recoiled from how bright and neon Lilac was, while Milla stared in awe.

Lilac was piddling about in the middle of the room, jumping up and down, stretching and making all manner of silly dance-related poses. She seemed locked in her own little world doing this, with a silly grin across her face and nothing but sounds of exertion escaping her lips. She stopped soon enough, however, when she caught sight of Carol and Milla in the doorway. She skipped over to the media player and turned the volume down but not off, bringing something resembling silence to the room. She spoke to the two as she continued to dance in place, with a tone of voice only fitting someone so loud and energetic, "Hey girls! How ya doin'? Having a walk, tryna keep in shape?"

Carol could only stare dumbfounded at her best friend, a million and one questions sprinting through her head, before she snapped out of it with a simple question; "...L-Lilac?"

"Yep! That's my name!" Lilac boasted, stretching in place with more huffs and puffs of effort, "Don't wear it out! And don't mind me! Just, uh...getting in shape!"

"Wait, wait wait! Time!" Carol yelled, stopping the music entirely, "Lilac, what the heck is going on here? What's with the neon clothes and the jumping around, and that stupid cheesy music?"

"IT'S NOT CHEESY IT'S RETRO!" Lilac screamed vigorously. Carol and Milla squealed in shock at the instant outburst Lilac had just given, sending them reeling several feet. Lilac seemingly caught wind of her own anger, reeling herself in, clearing her throat, "Sorry. Uh, what I'm trying to do just is just get some exercise, yeah? Keep myself healthy and fit for the next battle against the bad guys!"

"Really?" Carol asked with a hint of sarcasm, "OR is it to avoid confronting your own actions?" Lilac didn't have an answer to this, remaining silent, "Lilac, Torque's said not to do this..."

"Come on, girls!" Lilac piped up again, "This is really fun, this aerobics stuff! Really gets your blood pumping! You should try it, Carol. Can't be a lazy cat forever!"

"Oh yeah?" Carol asked playfully, "Just watch me!" A few seconds as Carol stood silent, very proud of her retort, before she realised what she just said. She shook her head and became agitated, "W-Wait, no! No! You can't keep doing this, Lilac! You can't keep just running away from your problems like this!"

"OH yes I can!" Lilac said calmly, her composure clearly wavering, "You just watch me! I-I'll dance my sickness away, no problem whatsoever! None!"

"...Lilac?" Milla asked fearfully, "Are you okay? Do you need help?"

"M-Me?" Lilac asked, her composure breaking down further despite her smiles, "I'm super happy, Milla! I feel bristling with energy, all the energy I need to keep dancing and exercising the day away! W-With dumbbells and leg warmers and...a-and..." her voice wavered now, and her expression slipped to fear, "And not thinking about that time I got all those volts burning though my system..." she was shivering violently now, freaking out and clasping her hands to the side of her head, "Scarring my skin, and burning my tendrils and causing some of my internal organs to shUT DOWN"

"Lilac, stop it!" Carol butted in, "You're clearly not fine!"

Finally, Lilac lost it. She sprinted to Carol and got all up in her face, her eyes bloodshot, her mouth foaming, her body vibrating and drenched with sweat. She screamed with the force of a thousand Neeras at Carol, "I'M PERFECTLY FINE YOU'RE NOT PERFECTLY FINE I DIDN'T GET 3000 VOLTS THROUGH MY HEAD AND EYES I AM PERFECTLY FINE!"

Now the music in the background had stopped for good, all three girls in the room taken aback by the outburst. Carol could only guess what Lilac was feeling inside now, after that kind of act! Again, she found herself flashing back to when she had found Lilac back then; battered, bruised, burned and close to death. The way she coughed violently and gazed up at her with her broken eyes, the way she looked longingly at the removed and bleeding tendrils on the nearby railing. The way she painfully growled that they had to go. What did Brevon do to her, to make her like...this? Lilac continued to shiver before she finally gave up and gave out, collapsing to the floor like a ragdoll and curling into a ball on the floor. Before Carol could get close enough to comfort her, Lilac let out a pained howl of mental agony and shivered violently, sobbing pitifully to herself.

Carol stopped, a look of similar scrunched-up agony on her own face. She slowly edged towards the sofa and collapsed upon it, clasping her face in her hands and sighing in a similarly pitiful manner. She slowly eyed Milla, who was also tearing up at the pitiful sight, and slowly edged towards Carol, shivering too but able to jump up and meet her on the couch. She arched herself into Carol's lap, who then proceeded to run her fingers through her Autumn hair to calm her, while Milla slowly spoke up, "Carol? What...what should we do? We can't leave Lilac like this...but I don't know what to do..."

"I know, I know..." Carol sighed, her voice silent but at the very least stable, "Uh...should we...uh, no. No, no, let's...give her some space, okay? We'll get her some sushi or something."

"Good idea..." Milla sighed, arching off of Carol so that she could get up and out of the room. Milla followed suit, and Lilac could only hear the two talking as they slowly made their way down the ladder, "I hope she'll be okay when we're back, Carol..."

"Yeah...yeah me too."

And with that, they were gone. Lilac was all alone in the treehouse, surrounded by gaudy fitness stuff and sobbing pitifully on the floor. She could only whisper a hoarse, "Don't go..." before the two were gone and far away. For a good half an hour, Lilac remained on the floor, silent bar the sobbing, her mind racing with all of the damned misery that got her here to begin with. How things had gone wrong after Shang Mu; the crashed airship, the Magister and his stupid panda lacky, the chase, the cave, the fight, the base...and Brevon. Oh how she loathed him for what he did to her. Slashed off her tendrils, humiliated her, hooked her up to an energy conduit...and floored the hypothetical gas pedal. The sheer pain of every cell in her body burning to a crisp was to be a feeling she would never, ever forget. The way she must have looked to Carol...how pitiful and damaged and WRONG she must have looked. And even after all of this time, after those healing baths, it would not go away. It would NEVER go away, Torque said, and that she would just have to live with it. But she hated the idea. She just wanted all of this to end, in one way or another.

Finally, she at least stopped crying and got to a sitting position, managing to rest her back on the seating of the couch and whimper, "Th-this is...h-hopeless. I can't keep doing this! My body's shivering enough as it is without this misery and music and neon tube socks. I can't...I can't stop thinking about th-that!" She stopped for a few seconds, before losing her temper and attacking the sofa with a backhand punch, "Th-this sucks! Why can't I just cover those grey scars with black makeup or something!? Hide the pain under MORE pain I can manage better!?"

Suddenly, Lilac stopped shivering. Something had seemed to click in her mind. She slowly got to her feet, shedding the arm warmers around her wrists, and approached the mirror on the far end of the room. She brushed her hair back, imagining it painted night black, alongside her fringe, her lips, her eyes...her heart. Her soul, wrapped in black. A small, devious grin spread across Lilac's face, and her voice changed. It became calm, stoic, scratchy...gothic.

"Actually...that's not a bad idea..."

===-===  
A Few Hours Later

"Okay..." Carol sighed, approaching the door, "Here we go again."

Milla took a long look at Carol, and whimpered with a sort of fearful anticipation. Last time they had just gone for a walk and it resulted in Lilac becoming an 80's fitness guru right in front of them! And that was an hours walking, this time it was three hours eating sushi! Granted it didn't seem to last, but what would she be this time? Chef? Slob? Goth girl turned Emo? Would it change every time they came in and walked out the door? Would they have to keep doing this until Lilac snapped back to her old heroic form? And this was from Milla herself, fearful for Lilac's own health, mental and otherwise. But what of Carol...what did she think?

"Carol..." Milla cleared her throat before asking, which caused Carol to turn to her, "...What if Lilac's taken on a new identity now? What if she keeps doing this to hide from her...her PT...PTRS?"

"PTSD," Carol corrected with a hearty sigh, "...And I dunno. But let's make it clear, okay? Whatever she is, whatever she's done, we will devote ourselves to making sure we snap her out of it. And we won't stop until she's feeling fine...o-okay?" Milla nodded, "Good. Okay, let's do this. One...two...three!" And with a hearty shove, the two swung the door open and entered the room, "Hey Lilac! We're home! We brought you some sushi!"

"Well...took you two long enough."

Carol stopped again, and she cringed in fear at what she saw. The fitness equipment was gone again, and nothing seemed to replace it. Indeed, the only one in the room was Lilac...again. She had changed her persona once more, and this time it looked even worse. Shedding the fitness guru stuff for more...extreme clothing, now even Lilac's very body was changed; her scales a darker, more saturated shade of purple, while her skin was pale to the point it looked like she lacked blood. Her eyes were caked in black eyeshadow, her fringe was coloured a similar black and hung over one eye, with her horns were painted ebony and her hearing aid was now red with a skull hanging from it on a chain. Her clothes were even worse, with a red choker leading to a very short black shirt that barely covered her torso, with her midriff covered in...fishnets? Fishnets also piled out of her sleeves all the way to her wrists, with were clad in black fingerless gloves. Even her tendrils were covered in fishnets, while she wore black pants with a red belt that let to black and red boots. Just a mess of black, red and fishnets, which Carol had to admit was far easier on the eyes than the neon getup of before, but still conjured frightful feelings beyond what she could have imagined.

Lilac spoke up, her voice deeper and scratchy and lacking the energy she had before, "Carol, Milla. You gonna stand there, or at least say hello?"

Carol stood still and silent for a few seconds, before turning and making a beeline for the door, "WELL I'm gonna go get some MORE sushi maybe next time I come back you'll be a cHEF OR SOMETHING."

"Carol!" Milla growled, grabbing Carol's arm and pulling her back into the room, "We can't keep walking out on Lilac! She needs us!"

"Oh Carol..." Lilac said, putting away the odd touchscreen device she had been messing with and getting up off of the sofa. She approached the two, and raised her arms upwards, "Well, this is the new me, girls. Goth Lilac, Darkhearted Siren of the Shadows. Like it?"

"...Yes?" Carol asked, her angry face aflustered, "I mean...you do look pretty. NO NOT PRETTY. You look...uh, ravishing?"

"I can tell you like it," Lilac said, something resembling a smile creeping across her face, "What about you, Mills?"

"Well..." Milla whined, "If you like it, I guess...are you feeling okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine, no worries," Lilac said softly, tussling the hound's hair, "For real, this time. I promise."

"Well, okay..." Milla sighed, "So is this what you are now?"

"Uh-huh," Lilac said, "I enjoy it this way, for sure. It feels nice to have this small blanket of shadowy misery to cover my pain in more pain..." she paused as the others looked at her funny, "...It's a mental shield sorta thing, what do ya want?"

Carol turned to face her, to talk to her, to yell at her, to tell her to JUST STOP HIDING FROM IT FOR THE LOVE OF...no. No, that wouldn't work. At this point, it probably never would. If Lilac wanted to be a goth, well, so be it. Milla was right...Carol couldn't just keep walking away from Lilac, no when she needed her the most. After all, running away and walking out on Lilac was what led to all of this in the first place. Carol just could no longer afford to abandon Lilac again. Not now. She finally lowered her arm and sighed, "Alright...we'll give this a shot..." and was almost instantly greeted with Lilac slowly taking her hands in hers. Carol actually shivered from it, rather than the wrought blushing she would otherwise experience - Lilac's hands were cold to the touch, shivering somewhat, despite being within her felt fingerless gloves.

"Thanks..." Lilac sighed.

"Y-Yeah..." Carol sighed, "You're welcome..." she slowly turned her head down to avert her gaze from Lilac's half-bored stare. She couldn't even bear to look at her face now, seeing all of her failures within it as she did. Lilac seemingly didn't think much of it, walking off to lift up Milla and pull her into a hug. Carol instead resigned herself to stumble to the sofa and collapse upon it again. Well...this is what Lilac was, now. Welp, better get used to it. And indeed, for a few hours, they were messing around as usual. As Carol remained on the sofa, Lilac would just mess around, sometimes sitting by her and trying to strike up a conversation with her, then getting bored and getting up to go do something else. Milla would just flit about the room, being Milla, sometimes watching the TV and sometimes sitting on the windowsill, staring into the great blue sky that slowly turned to a purplish-red as the evening began to set in. Carol was not sure what was happening, anyway, so entranced she was in her own existential confusion. She would respond to Lilac's dry wittering from time to time, but for most of it all, she was within deep thought. Soon, it was time for dinner, and Milla was the one to slowly awaken Carol from her slump.

"Carol?" Milla asked, "What's the plan for dinner?"

"Hmm? Oh!" Carol jumped from her seat, "I dunno. Some pork, maybe? Pork and Rice?"

"I'd love that!" Milla beamed.

"Yeah, I'd go for that, for sure," Lilac said, "Say, you don't mind if I handle the rice, yeah? I'd cut the pork, but I don't...I don't wanna...I..." she trailed off, staring at Carol and co. 'Oh here we go', Carol thought, 'Another breakdown. Here we go again'. Sure enough, she had the look in her eye again; the twitching of the eyelid, her eye dancing left and right as it jittered across and around the room. She shivered a little, a small skip in her breathing...but, to Carol's surprise, she managed to recollect herself. She laughed, thumping Carol on the shoulder, "Heh heh, I'm just faking it. I'm fine, I promise. I'm just not that good with a knife, as you know. Don't wanna make a slip...not yet, anyway."

Carol dropped her ears and sighed heavily. She cleared her throat and went, "Y-Yeah, I can do that, sure. Just please don't do that again..." and the two went off to work on it. While chopping and cooking the pork, though, Carol couldn't help but feel a little impressed; Lilac actually managed to not break down from the memories! Perhaps...perhaps this change of heart was a step in the right direction. Hopefully. After a few more minutes of cutting, cooking and playing with Milla, dinner was ready and served. It was simple, thankfully. Just some spiced pork within a bowl of white rice. Easy, simple, delicious and not that unhealthy for you. Probably. The three girls took their places at what constituted their dining room; that is, Lilac and Carol slumped down in front of the TV on the couch while Milla would either sit on the chair opposite or sit between the three of them. This time she chose to sit on the floor besides the couch, watching the TV with the other two girls. Tonights program, some dumb-as-heck reality show that Carol didn't really care about. Just seemed to be a lot of stupid, rich people yelling at each other and then taking part in, uh...sexual copulation. Eww. Instead, Carol swallowed a mouthful of pork and rice and turned to Lilac again.

"So..." Carol sighed, "Tell me. What was the, uh...reason, for this? Like, why a goth?"

"Why a goth?" Lilac repeated, to which Carol nodded, "Hmm...I don't know. I guess I just found it to all be so...fitting. My pain was so much, so...so INTENSE...perhaps I needed a way to deal with it. And then I thought, who deals with pain and suffering on a daily basis? A goth, perhaps. Someone who hides all of their pain under makeup and fishnets. It's, like...a way to relieve all the stress without actually relieving the stress."

"Sounds pretty hokey to me..." Carol grumbled.

"I guess..." Lilac sighed, "...Okay, okay. I looked up stuff online about helping with the trauma, and I stumbled across this website called "The Way of the Goth". All about being a dark girl. But, uh, I've been having a lot of fun with it. Listening to rock and metal music, painting myself all sorts of shades of black, sitting staring out of the window, waiting what life truly is...all in the span of a few hours, too. I mean, who would have thought turning to the dark side would work so well? Letting me long for death's cold embrace so that I may be free of this world in short order..."

Carol's shocked face said it all, but she was able to compose herself enough, "L-Lilac, what're you even saying? You really think this is gonna help? Pretending to be a goth? You know what those freaks are even like, right? Remember when Spade had those two in when we were back in the Red Scarves? Remember how MISERABLE they were? How they kept saying that they needed to end it all?"

"Oh yeah," Lilac pondered, "I remember them...they were good people."

"GOOD?!" Carol bellowed, "They were horrible people! One tried to jump off a bridge! Another succeeded!" Lilac didn't seem to have anything to really say concerning this, and sort of bowed her head in a sort of grumbling anger. Carol took the opportunity and pounced, "See? See what happened to the REAL goths? You're only doing this all to hide from your own issues. It's not even consistent. I thought goths were supposed to be all miserable and melancholy? Your impersonation is only skin-deep!"

"Hmm..." Lilac grumbled, becoming more and more irate, "And I thought you'd be happy for me trying to move on!"

"You're not moving on!" Carol bellowed, "That's the problem!"

"Girls?" Milla asked, worried.

"Not now, kiddo, the adults are talking," Lilac grumbled, head in her arms, "Though one of us ain't being an adult here."

"Yeah, and it's YOU!" Carol accused, "Lilac, I've gotta keep saying this, but you can't keep making personas to avoid what happened, okay?! You gotta take some responsibility for this, I'm sorry! The Great Dragon only knows what sorta issues you've got cooped up inside you, and you can't keep them bottled up forever!"

"Yes I can!" Lilac cried out, losing her composure once more, "I can make this, and I don't need YOU draggin' me down to your level! Why don't you just run off for the third time, huh? And leave me be!" There a small pause after this, of which the room was deadly silent. Lilac continued to glare at Carol, tears starting to run down her cheeks, while Milla was deathly silent and terrified of what could happen next. Lilac sighed and turned down to curl inwards slightly. She pouted, and mumbled, "I'm fine...I'm fine, I swear..." Before long, however, Lilac calmed herself and arched forward clutching her face in her hands, her face a mess and leaking mascara through the tears, "Okay...okay no...I'm not fine, I'm not fine...I've gotta go sort this."

And with that, Lilac put down her bowl of rice and walked away towards the door, heavy boots clomping on the wooden floor all of the way there. Carol apathetically got up and stumbled forward, watching Lilac stumble likewise out of the house towards the porch balcony, "Lilac, wait! I didn't mean it, LILAC!" But Lilac refused to listen. She was soon gone and out on the porch. Carol sighed heavily,

"No, Milla, just..." Carol said silently, before shifting around to lie on her back, "Where...where the hell did I go wrong? How did this get so outta control? You know, before that...that FREAK Brevon came 'round, me and Lil had a pretty good life. We robbed from trucks, we managed to get by on the fringes of society as they alllll got together for some big pointless fight. It was a simpler time, when alien warlords didn't torture your friends to the brink of crazy stuff. When they didn't then invent all these sorta fake ID's to get by. A simpler time!"

"Well..." Milla whined, "What're we gonna do?"

"See how Lilac reacts when she's calmed down, hopefully talk her out of this whole thing and-" she stopped, paused in her tracks by her own wording, her own actions. Lilac was right, in some twisted fashion. She could not just walk away a third time, or in this case sit by and let her do lord knows what. She got up off of the couch, and her brow furrowed in determination, "...No. No that's not good enough. I'm gonna go make it known I'm gonna help. I'm not walking away or standing aside. Not this time!"

"Whoo, go Carol!" Milla cheered on as Carol bolted out of the living room and through the wooden doorframe to outside. She slowed, not wanting to sail over the the balcony itself, and turned to look at the little porch area that they had constructed. For a good long while, like ever since the treehouse had been built all those years ago, this just wasn't here. It was you climbed up into the treehouse and there you go. It was Lilac's idea to go get some more wood from elsewhere and make a porch, so that they could sit outside in the summer and stare at the wonderful sun as it was going down. This time, the sky was a warm, crisp orange slowly shifting the purple and then to a dark blue as night rolled around. It was a pleasant evening, actually, though it did little to ease Carol's own worries and doubtless did nothing to calm Lilac's spirit. The porch itself was simply some more supported planks of wood in the front of the house, with a railing across the sides, and with a table with a number of logs fashioned together to make chairs.

Lilac was wandering up and down on the porch, pacing to and fro, scratching at her own head and gibbering softly to herself. She was still in her goth outfit, of course, and she now had some of her mascara run down her cheeks from the tears and stress. She batted at her head a few times, before kicking a logchair in anger. Then she shifted moods again and buckled down in stress, breathing heavily and hugging herself for what little comfort she could even find for herself. She turned, looking at Carol's confused-yet-disapproving face from the doorway, "Well?! What do ya want?"

"Lilac, I beg of you!" Carol pleased, "This isn't healthy at all! Just, please...stop this. Sit down. Have some pork and rice. Get some assistance on all this! Let me help you!"

"You can't help me!" Lilac bellowed bitterly, arching over in mental agony, "I...I can help myself, without you running out on me again! I can handle it!"

"Like how you handled Brevon last time I ran away?" Carol challenged.

"Sh-SHUT UP!" Lilac screamed, "You don't understand what it was like! Having everything ripped from you like that, humiliated and agonised..." her voice became a hoarse whisper, "I was...I was scared, alright? I was so scared. I only want a way outta this misery, okay? Hiding from it, running from it, even doing things I'd never do otherwise! Whatever it takes to just not feel this way anymore!"

Lilac slowly reached into her pocket, pulling out a knife and slowly bringing it hovering above her wrist. Carol's heart skipped a beat from actual fear and shock she was feeling, and she approached slowly, "Lilac, what is that? What're you doing?!

"It's a knife, idiot," Lilac grumbled bitterly, holding it closer to her wrist, "It's what they said to do online. Release the pain trapped underneath your skin, at all costs. Wrists, ankles, stomach...neck. Anything works, just...let the happy out. Let it flow..."

"Lilac no!" Carol stepped closer, fear and panic in her voice, "Do you even know what you're saying!? Don't listen to those insane buttholes! They only wanna see you suffer! Please, put the knife down!"

"No..." Lilac stepped backwards, "I'm gonna release this pain from my system, even if it kills me!"

"I'm not negotiating here, Lil!" Carol panicked even harder, "PUT THE KNIFE DOWN!"

"Stay back!" Lilac screamed, her voice and body shivering, blade pressed to her skin, "Or I'm gonna do it!"

"No!"

"I'm gonna do it!"

"NO!"

"I'M GONNA CUT MY-"

"I WON'T LET YOU" Carol screeched, sprinting towards Lilac with speeds unknown by all in the house. She tackled the knife in Lilac's hand, grabbing it by the blade and wrenching it from her grasp. Her hand cried out as the sharp blade cut into her soft flesh, but Carol didn't care. With a mighty screech, she tossed the knife far away in the other direction. She turned back to Lilac, "What the FUCK, Lilac?! I'm never gonna let you just throw your life away! You hear me, psycho?"

Lilac stared somewhat dumbfounded at the knife as it sailed over the railing and landed in the bushes below with a vaguely dramatic rustle. She stared at Carol, her face contorted into panic and stony fear, a tear forming in her eye - doubtless over what her best friend had just tried to do. Lilac shivered even more so than before, gripping her head tightly and messing up her hair within her quivering fingers. Wave after wave of regret washed over her, emotions building up, swelling within her mind. She began to hyperventilate, tears flowing from her eyes and little stringlets of snot dripping out of her nose. She felt as if she was being pushed over an edge, ready to raise her head to the sky and belt out a dramatic, blood-curdling scream...

But she didn't. There was a lurch, then a warm embrace of fur and cloth. Carol quickly pulled her into a tight hug, patting her back with a soft tap and nuzzling into her hair. Finally Lilac could no longer hold it in, for Carol's embrace had dissolved whatever remained of her facade. She sobbed loudly and pitifully, wrapping her arms around Carol and clinging onto her for dear life. Her legs buckled underneath their own failing resolve, for which she felt so weak and helpless for what must have been the first time in years. Carol for her part said nothing for a good long while, stroking Lilac's matted hair and tendrils with one hand, while soothingly rubbing her other hand up and down her back. Carol did not dare to stop holding her friend, content and determined to keep her in the comforting embrace for as long as she needed. She finally whispered into the dragon's ear fins whenever Lilac had to stop for a gasp of breath before continuing her wailing, "Sssshhhh...it's okay. It's gonna by okay now, ya hear? I'm not gonna leave you again. I promise."

There they stood for a few more minutes, softly cuddling each other and holding each other in their shivering arms, not daring to let go and not daring to cry out and ruin the moment. Lilac continued to sob, nuzzling into Carol's chest and feeling at least comforted in her strong muscled arms, while Carol was busying herself whispering sweet nothings into her fins, gliding her off hand across the smooth skin on Lilac's back. For so long, for as long as they remained in this embrace, they no longer felt alone. They felt...together, as one. As a team again, even if Milla was still inside. Carol's heart was sent aflutter from the emotions; Lilac was already there. But both were aware, something...unthought of was happening. Here there was no Brevon. No Torture. Just them, friends. Companions...perhaps more.

Finally, Lilac's sobbing slowed and stopped, and she broke from sobbing into Carol's chest. She instead rested her head on such and stared off weakly into the distance, while Carol continued to stroke her hair. She spoke up again, her voice a hoarse whisper from the strain of the outburst, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"It's okay...it's okay..." Carol sighed, slowly sitting Lilac down (though she would remain standing). She arched over, hands on knees, and breathed in and out heavily, "Lilac...you damn near gave me a heart attack! You were gonna cut yourself!"

"I..." Lilac said quietly, after calming herself, "I guess I...you don't know..." she cleared her throat, "Well, it's what they told me, you know? I-I mean, the pain inside your head is overridden by pain in your body. So you gotta release the pain in your body to forget the pain in your head. That's what they told me..." Lilac's face shifted to self-pity, "Damn, that sounds extremely stupid when playing it back...did I actually listen to any of that? ...Why did I listen? What did I just try to do to myself!?"

"I concur..." Carol sighed, grabbing a chair and sitting just beside her friend, "Lilac...please just tell me...why? Why did you do any of this? Please, tell me. I just wanna help. You're my friend."

"I..." Lilac sighed, "I was told by other people that it'd help me. I thought it would...help me..."

"What?!" Carol blurted out, before calming herself, "Lilac, who told you? Why do it? How the heck did you think it'd help you?!"

"I DON'T KNOW!" Lilac screamed, causing Carol to back off. Lilac sniffled, her composure thoroughly wrecked, before she shuffled herself so that she was sitting upright, "I looked it up online, and people said that a good way to get rid of pain was to bury it. Let out the hate so happiness can flow in. Bury it in more pain, actual pain if needed. I only wanted to get rid of this...mental agony. This festering, hateful pain that was eating me up inside. I wanted it to stop, okay?! I wanted it to end!"

A pang of guilt tumbled through Carol's mind, and she arched forward to grab Lilac's hand and hold it in her's. She spoke, uncharacteristically softly, "Lilac...I'm sorry. I don't know if I ever told you, but...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I abandoned you to Brevon's devices, sorry I didn't help when the nightmares came, sorry that I left you when you needed someone the most. If I knew this was as bad as this, I..." she cleared her mind and her throat, and began again, "Lil...why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I thought I could handle it," Lilac said quietly, "I managed to do everything else. I managed to get out of the underground caverns alive, I managed to defeat Serp twice. Brevon got me, but I got him in the end...he ran away, none the worse for wear and here I am. Fulla bad memories and shrieking the second I get a static shock! I wanted to prove to myself I was better! I wasn't gonna lose to him!" Lilac stopped her powerful speech sighed, "But...it wasn't good enough. It never was. Every time I was close to making it on my own, I'd relapse. Feel the sting of the shock all over again. And every time...I see him..." she began to break down into tears yet again, "I see his face looking up at me! I hear him laugh, tell me I'm never good enough! I'm sick, Carol. Sick!"

"Then we'll cure it," Carol assured, "We'll find some actual way to get rid of this for real. No running away, no hiding it behind a chef persona or something. We take it head-on, we FIGHT it head-on, we kick its butt and we win. And I will be there if I have to, every step of the way. This is my fault, all of it. It'd be wrong if I wasn't there to fix what I screwed up. I'm here for ya, Lil. You're my friend. No...you're best friend."

"R-R...really?"

"Really. Come here, ya big baby."

Lilac wasn't sure if that was supposed to be affectionate or not, but Carol had softly grabbed her shoulders and shifted her so that she was facing Carol dead on. Lilac, even through her own teary eyes, could see Carol's too were bloodshoot and moist, and it made Lilac just want to slither away in shame. But Carol kept her in place, softly grabbing her chin, slowly closing in with lips puckered...was this happening? Was this just some massive dream? Lilac's brain went empty at the sheer idea of what was happening right now. Was Carol going to...

*smooch*

She did! A kiss on the lips, as well. Lilac's insides fired up in shock once more, her heartbeat going into overdrive, eyes bulging at the sight of Carol leaning in and kissing her friend straight in the face. Uh, lips, yes, lips! Lilac couldn't even think straight as every aspect of her brain fired off signals of confusion and shock...but none of disgust. Soon the feelings went away, replaced by warmer feelings of...love. Trust. A warm pang of calmness and a deep nurture of god-knows-what-else. She didn't want this to stop. She didn't want this to end...but finally, they broke from the kiss. Carol looked back at Lilac's face; still scarred with tears and streaked with running mascara, but calmer and closer. She was even smiling. There was no trace of Brevon's influence in her expression. It was temporary, obviously, but it was a start. carol smiled back lovingly, nervously, "Gotta say...that's my first time."

"Not my first time..." Lilac said nervously, "B-But...you're a better kisser than Spade."

"Oh, you flatter me..." Carol giggled, giving Lilac another small kiss to the forehead. There was a silence, before Carol piqued back up, "So...is this official now? We gonna do this?"

Lilac paused for a while, before she lit up, "Yeah. We're gonna do this. It's a thing. Just us, together against whatever that warlord can throw at us! A-And Milla, obviously..." she sighed silently, looking up at Carol, "Although..." she cleared her throat, speaking in the gothic tone she was before, "You don't mind if I stick to the goth thing for a while, do you? I just bought the clothes, and I'm practising the voice a bit more..."

"I..." Carol paused for a second, unsure of how to respond, "O...Okay. Just, promise me that you won't repeat...any of this, ever again? Okay?"

"Okay," Lilac sighed, "I...I'm never doing that again. Okay."

Carol sighed, "Okay...okay..." Carol broke her comforting, "So...what do we do now? We can do anything we wanna do..."

"Well..." Lilac sighed, "Night's coming in pretty fast. I say we, uh...return to the couch, watch some more movies, then retire for the night. We can pick up where we left off in the mornin', I think. Get some more stuff, book a visit to Dr Quack and co..."

"Sounds like a plan!" Carol giggled, "Lilac, I..."

"Girls?" came Milla's voice from the doorway, "Are you okay? I heard a lot of yelling and -CAROL!" she jumped in shock, "Y-Your hand!"

"Hmm?" Carol asked, before staring at her hand. It was bleeding profusely out of a horizontal gash across her palm, "Oh yes, I grabbed the blade, didn't I? I guess in the adrenaline I didn't feel it. I think I feel it now...yep, yep that hurts. Like, a lot..."

"Well, c-come inside!" Milla cried out, "Let me get some bandages!" and she quickly rushed inside.

Lilac turned back to Carol afterwards, "W-Well, looks like we're gonna have to explain all this to Milla. How're we gonna do that?" Carol shrugged silently, to which Lilac sighed, "Well, I'm sure we'll figure something out. She needs to know, what I tried to do, why I tried to do it...tell her I'm okay now, you know? Also, fairly sure I need to wash this shirt...I think you've got blood all over it."

"Lilac..." Carol sighed, grabbing Lilac's wrist with her non-bloody hand, "Just remember, whenever you're hitting rock bottom, please...come find me. Let me know. And I'll make sure that you get the help you need."

"...Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me..." Lilac sighed, pulling her into another hug, "I-I...love you, Carol..."

"And I love you too..." Carol sighed, breaking off the hug, "Now, let's get inside. I'm...kinda losing blood here, and I REALLY need to get that knife out of the bush at some point..."

"Yeah, good idea," Lilac said quickly, "Let's go."

With the sun slowly lowering and giving way to the black streaks of night slowly following across the valley, the two went inside. There was a sort of awkward pause throughout Milla frantically bandaging up Carol's wounds - a temporary fix, given how deep the cut was. Lilac would bring it all up to Milla, of course, of how deep this all went. As expected, she went straight for the comforting trick of "sob like a baby, then cry into shoulder". Carol could only note how gut-wrenching it was for Lilac to silently and solemnly promise to never try again, to go on the mend as soon as possible. It was all a little hollow, but hey, it was a start. From evening 'til dusk, the three would watch a movie or two, Carol and Lilac on the couch with Milla on the floor. Carol was lying further back in the sofa, holding Lilac softly in her arms. Where she was safe. From Brevon, from Spade, from the demons inside her head. From all of it.

 **The End**


End file.
